Von Eaglin - Signs You May Be in a Codependent Relationship - #1522
It is a solo show today! Psychologist and Relationship expert Von Eaglin is here to discuss “Signs You May Be in a Codependent Relationship.”
Von Eaglin
Von Eaglin is a Licensed Professional Counselor-Supervisor and works with two group practices in the Dallas area. He is a certified couple relationship trainer and sees a wide range of clients addressing men's issues, anger management, abuse, and addiction; just to name a few. He is also a doctoral candidate at the University of North Texas in the Counseling and Higher Education Department. His Ph.D. research focuses on couple relationships dialogue.
Signs You May Be in a Codependent Relationship
Dependency, on some level, is normal. Not all codependent relationships turn sour. Any healthy relationship will have some codependency and give and take. For example, it's reasonable if one partner looks to another for advice or guidance on a major decision, he says. Bernadette does bring up that people can even become co-dependent on animals, not just humans! Von says that there needs to be a balance with animals too, and the dependency that people acquire when they adopt or obtain them. Co-dependency is not in the DSM-5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.) Co-dependency is characterized by excessive emotional or psychological reliance on a partner, typically one who requires support on account of an illness or addiction. Some signs of codependency are cleaning up messes for themselves or others, taking care of others with toxic behavior, and denying the problem in yourself, or in the other person in the relationship. Junior, Bernadette, and Von work through the topic of doing things you really don’t want to do. Boundaries help clarify and maintain relationships. No is the sexiest word in the English language!
There are many other signs of co-dependency. Most co-dependent people are that way from a childhood trauma that they are not aware of, and that lies in their subconscious. Signs of codependency include: Difficulty making decisions in a relationship, Difficulty identifying your feelings, Difficulty communicating in a relationship, Valuing the approval of others more than valuing yourself, Lacking trust in yourself and having poor self-esteem, Having fears of abandonment or an obsessive need for approval, Having an unhealthy dependence on relationships, even at your own cost, and Having an exaggerated sense of responsibility for the actions of others. Be clear on what makes you afraid, and what makes you feel more confident. Try and find the right fit for you, even if it means working with a therapist or attending a CODA meeting.
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